It is Sunday morning. A week ago today I was in the middle of my journey and now I am just HOME. I don’t know how else to say this but I liked myself much better as an adventurer. How do I keep that energy going?
For me, it was much easier to appreciate my surroundings when they were fresh and new. With my fellow Americans, I share a beautiful country. There is nothing to figure out when experiencing the mountains, desert, snow, etc. There is no judgment or right or wrong in nature, just the existence of God. On the road, this existence is partnered with religious billboards, signs and rhetoric. It is no wonder people move away from God. Many people (I am included in this) spend too much time reading and waiting for signs instead of feeling and connecting with spirit.
Alone on the road with my dogs, we were full of spirit. It protected and guided us. It connected us with others. It restored us when we stopped to rest. When I failed to see that, I would be disappointed with myself for not trying to have more conversations with people. However, now when I reflect on the experience there was always someone to share a smile and or word or two with when I stopped. There were two people in Colorado who helped me add antifreeze before going through the Vail Pass. (I could not find the release latch for the hood on the rental SUV) I witnessed one of those people, a young man who was in a truck with friends offer to take another younger man further up the road. The man who needed the ride declared he was mentally disabled, yet this did not faze the driver and his friends at all. Spirit also helped me find a person to take my photo, so I could stand “At the corner in Winslow, Arizona….” and share it with friends and family. Spirit was also present when the dogs would gain attention, prompting many easy smiles and friendly banter.
Those who I shared the road with who were on a long distance journey of their own, were the ones I had the most fellowship with. This group of people was mainly made up of professional truckers. The “traveler” in them, recognized the traveler in me with ease. They were my community leaders on the road. Their experience with isolation is matched with an appreciation for interaction when they stop. They were the perfect combination of engaging, curious and kind…the exact requirements needed to create community. Truckers also generated the most honks in response to my “Honk if you Like Thoughtful Conversation” bumper sticker.
In total, I believe I got 17 honks. This total is disappointing to me but not surprising. Some variables that were not working in favor of accumulating honks:
1. Visibility – Often the sticker was completely covered up with dirt and salt residue from the road
2. Design – I think it might have been too small to read or not eye catching enough. (Perhaps I will launch a design contest and try again?)
3. Music – My favorite way to pass time on the journey; car karaoke. The music and my singing surely preventing me from hearing and counting honks.
There were two honks of record that charged me warmth and inspiration. One was giving to me by a mother in Nevada. I actually witnessed her honk without hesitation as her teenage daughter rolled her eyes. I can only imagine the conversation between the daughter and mother that followed the honk.
Mother: See? I am not the only one that wants thoughtful conversation.
Daughter: Whatever, Mom.
Mother: All I am asking, will you please try? I love you and want to understand you.
Daughter: I don’t know what you want or mean, Mom.
I wonder how the conversation ended. Yet, I am hopeful and glad I inspired it knowing how common disconnection is between generations. The other honk was given to me by a young couple in Utah. I am going to call them “The Ideal Model of Good Christians” couple. They honked, smiled, and waved as they passed by. No judgment, no worries and nothing preventing them from sharing love and community with me.
I have not been out much since I have returned. I have only driven my own car twice in six days! I have a new raw vulnerability. As I been out in public, my spirit is whispering, “Recognize something in me that is in you and connect with me.” I long for the ease of connection I experienced on the road. I am holding my head up and making eye contact. My spirit is so present right now. How long will it be before it reciprocated? And how long can I hold up if it is not?
Hmmm. I am staring at that last question. I want to delete it but I am not going to. That is part of the problem. Society views loneliness as some sort of weakness. I can assure you it is not. My mind is active and powerful. My body is strong. My heart explores and creates love with or without someone to share it with.
Writing about my journey of isolation has been therapeutic for me yet I am not content writing alone. I truly believe isolation is social epidemic that needs more attention. I promise to continue to writing but I need others to share their stories and ideas on what we can do to inspire caring communities.
Someone should rewrite, the words to the Oleta Adams song, “Get Here.” You can reach me by Facebook, Twitter, Comments…I don’t care how you reach me, just get here when you can.
To see all posts related to this journey in chronological order, click here.
