It is 5:30 am in Wichita, KS.  I am having a hard time writing right now but I know I need to say something. Actually, I need to say a lot of something.

When I woke up early Saturday morning to begin my journey back to Los Angeles there were many things on my mind. I was anxious to start out again but worried I am failing to bring awareness to the critical circumstances of isolation.

The night before, I was involuntary engaged in game of communication hangman when a BOY (probably should say man but it seems inappropriate in this case) who I thought was a new friend, never bothered to communicate after texting, “I will drop you line when I finish up” in response to the possibilities of getting together for a drink on my last night in town.  It is hard not to think, what did I do wrong?  Did I misread communication?  Was I not interested and interesting enough?  What prevented him from having integrity in his words?

As I set out on the road, I tried to put my hurt and disappointment behind me.  Set on creating community, I thought of questions I might ask people when I stopped. I imagined photo opts with people I would meet along my journey and interesting things I would share along the way. For those of you following me, you might have noticed I shared next to nothing yesterday. Obviously my hurt feelings were not as in check as I hoped.

When I finally got up the courage to really try to engage people, I was in Missouri. A man pulls into a gas station next to me, he raises his jacket a bit and I could see he was carrying a handgun. Bye Bye courage. I  have been around guns all my life, yet it sort of tips the scales to err on the side of caution before engaging a complete stranger in conversation. And so another day of more isolation than community sets in. What will prompt me to keep trying?  When does the fear of being hurt and misunderstood become too much to bear?

I ended my day watching CNN’s coverage of the shooting in Tucson, Arizona.  I am enraged by the insensitivity of the media. Over and over questions have been proposed about U.S. Rep. Gabrielle Giffords in past tense when she is still alive and fighting for her life.  As they spin the story and try to speculate what motivated Jared Lee Loughner, the gunman who opened fire on the crowd, they are determined to know if he is a radical left or right. Does this really matter? This young man’s political views are an effect of a cause; he lost his connection to humanity. No matter how the story unfolds, whether he acted alone or under the influence of someone else, I am 100% confident that social isolation is the basis of this story.

Like any civilization motivated by power and sensationalism, destruction is emanating. We are trouble.  CNN keeps reporting, “How Americans come together in times like this…” as if it is some sort of testament to how great we are.  Yet the story will soon be replaced by another over stimulated drama and people will continue to go about their business without concern for what they can do or how they are contributing to the problem.

To improve the emotional wellbeing of this country, we have to start with the individual. We need to value people, feelings and relationships. We need to connect and stay connected.  We need to encourage, support and honor people for getting conversation going.  God forbid what will happen when people are too scared to speak up and try to make a difference.

We need to stop texting and engage in conversation where you can’t ignore that words are connected to thoughts and feeling of a living/breathing person.

To my female counter parts young and old: Promote feeling and thoughtful communication.  When a man tries to intimidate you to allow insensitive communication, remind him of how the ratio of men who commit tragic acts with no regard to feeling or life far out way those committed by women.  We are not wrong to feel or want understanding.  Everyone stands to benefit from thoughtful exchanges of communication.

The father of the 9-year-old girl, Christina Taylor Green who was killed yesterday said, “She was born on Sept 11, she came into this world into tragedy and left in the same way.”  My generation and everyone coming behind me is in trouble if we don’t get a handle on balancing tech and business against human compassion and understanding.

My heart is heavy with prayers, thoughts and compassion for everyone affected by the tragedy in Tucson.  I got to pull myself together because I can’t be crying on the road. Oddly, I am heading in the direction of Tucson. I can’t help but ask myself, what more can I do? If you have any ideas, please send me your comments. I will be checking both Twitter and Facebook from the road.

To see all posts related to this journey in chronological order, click here.

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